Running, rambling, and randomness
Yesterday was a stressful day for me. It was my first post-cancer quarterly dermatologist skin check appointment. Generally stressful given everything, but more stressful because I had a spot that concerned me. I certainly wasn’t trying to be an alarmist (thought it’s easy to see how I could go down that road) but there was a spot just in front of my right ear that I had a funny feeling about. The boyfriend looked at it and agreed that it looked, well, like the tumor I had removed from my left cheek.
I slept awful Sunday night: first I couldn’t fall asleep, then I couldn’t stay asleep. Around 3am, I reset my alarm from 6am to 7 am, knowing that my run wasn’t going to happen on such little sleep. I’d also done a lousy job of hydrating over the weekend, so I added that to my pile of excuses to skip my run. In hindsight, I should have run, if for no other reason than stress relief. That extra hour of sleep certainly didn’t have me feeling well rested.
In any case, I left work around 3:15pm for my appointment on the other side of town. I was toting my big ol’ binder of medical junk as the derm’s office had asked about copies of my records relating to my surgery and my endocrinology issues (she was actually the doctor that referred me to an endo, based on my hair loss).
Long story short (and it is a long and convoluted story) it’s been discovered that my final pathology was wrong. Say what now?
do did (the tumor removed had clear margins) have microcystic adnexal carcinoma (MAC) as the original biopsy had shown. Which maybe doesn’t seem like a big deal until you think about the fact that MAC frequently requires radiation to prevent recurrance. Fuck.
So where does that leave me? (Besides freaking out! LOL) Well, I need to call my oncologist today and schedule an appointment and find out. I imagine she and the head and neck oncology board/team will re-review my case and make a recommendation from there. So if you can spare some “no radiation” thoughts for me, I’d appreciate it.
Oh, and the thing by my ear? The derm doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about, but for my peace of mind (and hers) she biopsied it. I’ll get those results in about a week. I have mad amounts of respect for my dermatologist who pieced this all together and cares about her patients enough to follow up and follow through on things.
EDITED TO ADD: My oncologist can’t see me till next Tuesday, October 9. It’s gonna be a long week 😦